Comments on: Natural Parenting: Co-sleeping for New Dads http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/ Green and Natural Parenting for Eco-Friendly Families Wed, 23 May 2012 08:22:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Amber http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-24328 Amber Sat, 20 Aug 2011 05:16:03 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-24328 At first we hadn't even considered co-sleeping. I had bought a small bassinet to put beside the bed for when our baby was little and I bought a hand me down crib from a family member, complete with a sheet set bought on ebay. It has never been used. From the moment our daughter was 3 months old, she has been sleeping between us. I will be blunt here and say that neither her daddy nor I am...very...small in size and we've never had any issues. I get compliments all the time on how happy she is, almost always unless it's near her bedtime when she tends to get a bit cranky. Here's my take on it: you have a tiny human being who is completely dependant on you for everything from changing its diaper to feeding it, clothing it, etc. Yet, you expect this tiny child to feel perfectly safe in a room, far away from you in a bed with bars where it can't get out and can only cry (which means he/she is already upset) in order to get someone/anyone's attention? I wonder, honestly, what kind of message this sends to the young child's psyche. Co-sleeping has been a wonderful experience. I love waking up to see my child's smiling face every morning with her brilliant "morning mommy!" and our cuddling afterward. How could you not want that too? At first we hadn’t even considered co-sleeping. I had bought a small bassinet to put beside the bed for when our baby was little and I bought a hand me down crib from a family member, complete with a sheet set bought on ebay. It has never been used. From the moment our daughter was 3 months old, she has been sleeping between us. I will be blunt here and say that neither her daddy nor I am…very…small in size and we’ve never had any issues. I get compliments all the time on how happy she is, almost always unless it’s near her bedtime when she tends to get a bit cranky.
Here’s my take on it: you have a tiny human being who is completely dependant on you for everything from changing its diaper to feeding it, clothing it, etc. Yet, you expect this tiny child to feel perfectly safe in a room, far away from you in a bed with bars where it can’t get out and can only cry (which means he/she is already upset) in order to get someone/anyone’s attention? I wonder, honestly, what kind of message this sends to the young child’s psyche.
Co-sleeping has been a wonderful experience. I love waking up to see my child’s smiling face every morning with her brilliant “morning mommy!” and our cuddling afterward. How could you not want that too?

]]> By: Janet Carpenter http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4104 Janet Carpenter Mon, 21 Sep 2009 10:26:59 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4104 My daughter is adopted, so I read as much as I could about attachment. It's funny, I had never even thought about bio-parents needing to do this, but of course you do. Now, she is four years old (came to us at 8 months) and I can say that the one of the things that made the most difference was co-sleeping. It's just a special thing for parents and children. Another great technique was carrying her in a wrap. With a sling/wrap, I could keep her close to me, all the time. My hands were free, and I could do the tasks of daily life with her, talking or singing to her and being close. One more thing that made a huge difference was skin-to-skin contact by swimming together, or even just wearing sleeveless shirts and shorts. As an adoptive parent, I didn't fall in love with my daughter in utero, she grew in my heart, not under it. But it's the strongest love, I've ever known and it's grown through "attachment" parenting techniques. My daughter is adopted, so I read as much as I could about attachment. It’s funny, I had never even thought about bio-parents needing to do this, but of course you do.

Now, she is four years old (came to us at 8 months) and I can say that the one of the things that made the most difference was co-sleeping. It’s just a special thing for parents and children.

Another great technique was carrying her in a wrap. With a sling/wrap, I could keep her close to me, all the time. My hands were free, and I could do the tasks of daily life with her, talking or singing to her and being close.

One more thing that made a huge difference was skin-to-skin contact by swimming together, or even just wearing sleeveless shirts and shorts.

As an adoptive parent, I didn’t fall in love with my daughter in utero, she grew in my heart, not under it. But it’s the strongest love, I’ve ever known and it’s grown through “attachment” parenting techniques.

]]> By: Derek Markham http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4103 Derek Markham Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:19:55 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4103 Good point, Susie. If you're gonna get loaded, you probably shouldn't put your precious in bed with you... Good point, Susie.
If you’re gonna get loaded, you probably shouldn’t put your precious in bed with you…

]]> By: Susie Kim http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4102 Susie Kim Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:40:08 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4102 Bravo! We co-sleep even though the crib is flushed next to our bed with a toddler rail over it. She never seems to make it to her crib at night. :) One thing I do want to mention is that if you have drank one too many; it might be better to put the baby someplace safe rather than co-sleep. I have been reading stories where babies suffocated due to rollover where the parent was intoxicated or on drugs. I doubt that someone who reads ECP would do those things but just throught it should be out there. Bravo! We co-sleep even though the crib is flushed next to our bed with a toddler rail over it. She never seems to make it to her crib at night. :) One thing I do want to mention is that if you have drank one too many; it might be better to put the baby someplace safe rather than co-sleep. I have been reading stories where babies suffocated due to rollover where the parent was intoxicated or on drugs. I doubt that someone who reads ECP would do those things but just throught it should be out there.

]]> By: Tia http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4091 Tia Tue, 08 Jul 2008 04:00:38 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4091 My son slept with me because he would not sleep unless he was on my chest until he was 5 months old. I was a first time mom and didn't care that people said I was spoiling him. He slept and so did Momma. This is good. He is 8 years old, happily sleeps in his own room on his top bunk all by himself. He is not a momma's boy or any other derogatory name for a child that is loving & loved by his parent. My daughter slept in bed with me because, as you said, I did not even have to wake up to feed her. I slept with my breasts bare and she would root around and nurse herself. It became my habit to switch sides (and the baby too) after each feeding so she was nursing equally on each breast. I did not even wake up to do this...it was so natural for us. Co-sleeping is amazing & lessens so much stress for everybody involved. Thank you for giving us the dads view. :) My son slept with me because he would not sleep unless he was on my chest until he was 5 months old. I was a first time mom and didn’t care that people said I was spoiling him. He slept and so did Momma. This is good. He is 8 years old, happily sleeps in his own room on his top bunk all by himself. He is not a momma’s boy or any other derogatory name for a child that is loving & loved by his parent.

My daughter slept in bed with me because, as you said, I did not even have to wake up to feed her. I slept with my breasts bare and she would root around and nurse herself. It became my habit to switch sides (and the baby too) after each feeding so she was nursing equally on each breast. I did not even wake up to do this…it was so natural for us. Co-sleeping is amazing & lessens so much stress for everybody involved. Thank you for giving us the dads view. :)

]]> By: Zereh http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4092 Zereh Mon, 07 Jul 2008 09:13:20 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4092 As soon as I got my hands on my son when we were alone in the hospital, we fell asleep together. He was nestled on my chest with the bed propped up. The nurses tried to chastise me and said it was an "awful" habit to start. But I knew better. I kept it up at home as well. Even my Mom tried to discourage it nicely. =P But my instincts said if he and I were sleeping comfortably and soundly there was nothing that needed to be changed. I hate when experts try to talk you out of something that just feels right. How can they ever know what works for you? Suggestions I can handle. Dictating about how I should parent were huge warning signs. I was just as "needy" as my son. I can't explain how comforting it was to have him there beside me. It must have been the same for him because he slept like an angel almost immediately after bringing him home. (It did take a couple days for us to get our days and nights figured out!) He didn't grow into a clingy toddler at all. Good for you for doing what works for you and your family! Its also nice to hear so many others do as their hearts tell them. <3 Z As soon as I got my hands on my son when we were alone in the hospital, we fell asleep together. He was nestled on my chest with the bed propped up. The nurses tried to chastise me and said it was an “awful” habit to start. But I knew better.

I kept it up at home as well. Even my Mom tried to discourage it nicely. =P But my instincts said if he and I were sleeping comfortably and soundly there was nothing that needed to be changed.

I hate when experts try to talk you out of something that just feels right. How can they ever know what works for you? Suggestions I can handle. Dictating about how I should parent were huge warning signs.

I was just as “needy” as my son. I can’t explain how comforting it was to have him there beside me. It must have been the same for him because he slept like an angel almost immediately after bringing him home. (It did take a couple days for us to get our days and nights figured out!) He didn’t grow into a clingy toddler at all.

Good for you for doing what works for you and your family! Its also nice to hear so many others do as their hearts tell them.

<3
Z

]]> By: Derek Markham http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4097 Derek Markham Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:46:14 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4097 Floy: I think that small children really do need their parents, and that creating the most nurturing and safe space for them is vital. Perhaps when we really listen to what they need, instead of what we want or expect, we'll find that they cry when left alone because they do need us. And they thrive when we listen. See: Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/babies_need.html Floy: I think that small children really do need their parents, and that creating the most nurturing and safe space for them is vital. Perhaps when we really listen to what they need, instead of what we want or expect, we’ll find that they cry when left alone because they do need us. And they thrive when we listen.

See: Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/babies_need.html

]]> By: Floy http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4099 Floy Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:19:30 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4099 Alright, I am all for the bonding experience.. But as a soon to be mother, Dont you guys wonder if it created a "NEEDY BOND" I've seen this alot in my young years. Small children not able to sleep on their own or crying when the parents put them into their own bed.. Is it really creating a massive "bond"? or just the wrong kind of bond? I am very curious on this.. Alright, I am all for the bonding experience.. But as a soon to be mother, Dont you guys wonder if it created a “NEEDY BOND” I’ve seen this alot in my young years. Small children not able to sleep on their own or crying when the parents put them into their own bed.. Is it really creating a massive “bond”? or just the wrong kind of bond? I am very curious on this..

]]> By: Floy http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4100 Floy Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:19:30 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4100 Alright, I am all for the bonding experience.. But as a soon to be mother, Dont you guys wonder if it created a "NEEDY BOND" I've seen this alot in my young years. Small children not able to sleep on their own or crying when the parents put them into their own bed.. Is it really creating a massive "bond"? or just the wrong kind of bond? I am very curious on this.. Alright, I am all for the bonding experience.. But as a soon to be mother, Dont you guys wonder if it created a “NEEDY BOND” I’ve seen this alot in my young years. Small children not able to sleep on their own or crying when the parents put them into their own bed.. Is it really creating a massive “bond”? or just the wrong kind of bond? I am very curious on this..

]]> By: Derek Markham http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/07/06/natural-parenting-and-co-sleeping-for-new-dads/#comment-4101 Derek Markham Mon, 07 Jul 2008 03:23:17 +0000 http://ecochildsplay.com/?p=1153#comment-4101 Hannah: Thanks for your comments! You make a great point about "detachment" parenting. Oh, the power of words... It's great that mothering is an accepted word, but I'm lobbying for fathering to also join the ranks (as opposed to its current usage as in "fathering a child", as a one-time thing). The back seat thing was a little tiny joke... Hannah: Thanks for your comments!

You make a great point about “detachment” parenting. Oh, the power of words…

It’s great that mothering is an accepted word, but I’m lobbying for fathering to also join the ranks (as opposed to its current usage as in “fathering a child”, as a one-time thing).

The back seat thing was a little tiny joke…

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