Baby Essentials That Aren’t, Part 1: Cribs
Open any pregnancy or baby book, and you’ll find that list: the baby essentials, the things you absolutely cannot live without. While many accessories are easily recognized as frivolous, certain items are truly indispensable: the basic necessities for life with a baby.
Or are they?
In this weekly series, we’ll be looking at several baby essentials that really aren’t. They may be useful in certain situations, but if money or space is tight, or if you’re just looking to simplify and reduce consumerism and waste, here’s how to get along just fine without these so-called “essentials.“
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Let’s start this series off with a bang, and tear down that ubiquitous piece of baby furniture, a nursery just isn’t a nursery without one:
Non-Essential #1: The Crib
Certainly the largest, and often the most expensive piece of “essential” baby equipment, a crib is something many of us do just fine without, thank you very much. While it is still the best option for some, we must not simply take it as a given that it should be the default choice for everybody.
The entire basic idea of an infant sleeping isolated in a crib in their own bedroom is a relatively modern one, and quite limited to western culture. And yet it is so entrenched in our collective consciousness, that it can be very difficult to conceive of doing things any other way.
One Alternative: Co-Sleeping
Co-sleeping is one obvious “natural” alternative. It allows for easier breastfeeding, better sleep for parents and infants, reassurance that your baby is right there for you to watch over and protect, and possibly even decreases the risk of SIDS. It has been practiced the world over for all of human history and continues to be the norm for up to 90% of the world’s population.
If you like the idea of co-sleeping but are hesitant because you’ve heard the negative propaganda against it, consider this: Thousands of babies die each year in cribs (from SIDS or from crib-related accidents), and a few dozen babies die annually while “co-sleeping”. Even when we account for the possibility that babies sleep in cribs more often than in family beds, these numbers are still striking. Despite this, we’re not told to stop using cribs; authorities respond with extensive “crib safety” checklists and assurances that cribs are absolutely the only safe place for babies to sleep. They do not provide us with an equivalent “safe co-sleeping” checklist, however. We are told to stop co-sleeping completely, with sweeping and sensationalistic warnings that co-sleeping is always dangerous and should never, never, ever ever ever be done. Did we mention… ever??
This mentality is actually more dangerous, since a great many parents end up bringing their babies to bed with them, at least occasionally, out of desperation, exhausted. They never planned or wanted to, believing what they had heard about the dangers, and never having learned the safety precautions (one of which is, do not co-sleep when exhausted). Not only do they end up feeling guilty, but they could unintentionally create an unsafe environment. Our modern adult beds and typical sleeping arrangements are, in fact, not designed with infant safety in mind. So it is of vital importance to spread awareness of co-sleeping safety, rather than ignorance and fear.
In May 1999, the Consumer Product Safety Commission [CPSC] released a warning against cosleeping or putting babies to sleep on adult beds that was based on a study of death reports of children under the age of two who had died from 1980 to 1997. Among the 2,178 deaths by unintentional strangulation in the Commission’s study were 180 young children who had died from being overlain on a sofa or bed. In another analysis of CPSC data it was found that of 515 deaths in an adult bed, 121 of these were the result of overlying and 394 children died as a result of entrapment in the structure of the bed (Heinig, 2000). The CPSC statistics resulted in a media frenzy discouraging cosleeping which, instead of educating the public on how to share sleep safely, chose to alarm parents. Neither media announcement mentioned the 2,700 infants that died in the final year of that study of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome [SIDS], formerly called “crib death”; the vast majority of those infants died alone in their cribs (Seabrook, 1999). (2001 Tami E. Breazeal)
Another Alternative: The Floor Bed
Even if co-sleeping isn’t right for you (and it certainly isn’t right for every family), you can still question the need to keep your baby in what is essentially an elevated cage. Babies are just as well off, in fact, on a simple mattress on the floor. The bars which are there for ’safety’ are only necessary because the baby is so high up. And they’re only that high up in the first place as a convenience to parents, so we don’t have to bend over to put our babies in.
A regular mattress on the floor provides several advantages. You are not limited to standing beside the crib, patting your fussy baby’s back. You can lie down with your baby, whether just staying with them or nursing them to sleep while side-lying, and easily slip away after they’ve drifted off. Or perhaps you would prefer to sit on the mattress to nurse them to sleep, then gently lay them down - this is far easier than having to stand up from your chair, walk over to the crib, and reach baby down to the crib mattress (all without waking him!!) And of course, being on the floor already, there is no danger of injury from either falling off, or entrapment within the bars.
From the floor mattress, baby has better view of her entire room, not just the ceiling and bars, and thus has more visual stimulation. Many believe that babies are actually calmer and less stressed. As baby becomes a toddler, it is greatly to their advantage to have the freedom be able to get in and out of their beds by their own will, rather than experiencing the powerlessness of having to cry and wait for an adult to respond. This promotes independence and self-fulfillment and is notably endorsed by the philosophies of child-rights and development pioneer, Dr. Maria Montessori.
If you do choose a mattress on the floor, the usual safety checklists still apply, of course. No pillows, blankets, toys, etc, that you would not have in a family bed or in a crib, and ensure that entrapment between the mattress and a wall is not a possibility. If you would like something a little nicer than just a mattress, you can build your own, or purchase a ready-made floor bed.
Both co-sleeping and floor beds are solutions that use fewer resources, cost less money, and quite probably result in happier, more secure children (and thus, eventually, adults). So dare to think outside the baby cage box: question the crib!
Be sure to check out Part 2: Infant Car Seats, Part 3: Strollers, Part 4: Diapers, Part 5: Baby Bathtubs, Part 6: Baby Brain Boosters, and Part 7: Baby Food.
Photo: Valentina Powers under creative commons.
I’m so glad you are writing about this! It is unfortunate that so many people are pressured into thinking that they need every little piece of baby gear. Wipe warmer anyone???
Neither of these are options for us. My bed is sacred to my husband and myself, and it’s essential for our marriage to have the haven away from the baby. When would we ever have “Mommy Daddy time” with a baby in our bed??? And I’m not even talking about just sex… there’s cuddling and pillow talk, which is essential to the intimacy of our relationship and marriage. And I believe a secure and happy marriage is one of the best gifts I can give to my baby.
As for the floor mattress, that would have worked… until she started rolling (which she started to do at about 3 months). Every morning we find our baby in one of the corners of her crib, despite laying her down in the middle of it the night before. Without “the cage”, she would have rolled off the mattress and woken herself — and us — up several times each night.
So the crib is absolutely essential for our family to stay well-rested and therefore happy and healthy. The baby’s crib is bare except for her fitted sheet (no bumpers, etc.) and we use an organic mattress and bedding. And we keep a small fan in there for air circulation. Plus, we’re VERY lucky in that she’s been sleeping all night since she was about 8 weeks old. I’m not saying it’s for everyone (no judging here!!), but that’s what works for us.
I am so glad you wrote about this. We co-slept with our now 11 month old until he was about 8 months old and got too tossy & turny for a good nights sleep. This was great for breastfeeding. I had heard all the bad stuff about it and we didn’t really plan on co-sleeping, but once we started we saw all of the advantages and loved it. I would recommend it to anyone.
We had his “child bed” (aka mattress on the floor) all ready for him since birth, but just didn’t use it until he was about 8 months old. We have never had problem with him falling out of it, we put pillows on the floor next to the mattress and we also had an area rug down. I just admitted to our ped. that we didn’t use a crib and she was horrified. I wish more people were aware of these options. It has worked VERY well for us.
A mattress on the floor has worked great for us. We can lay down with our baby when we want to, he can play on his bed, and story time can accomodate siblings. I think cribs are really overrated.
We have a floor family bed. Our daughter is a “sleep crawler,” so it’s essential that she not be high up off of the ground. My husband and I have great intimacy. We snuggle and talk and laugh every night in bed. And we do other things, too. My husband loves having our daughter in bed with us. The first thing he said this morning was how sweet it was to snuggle with me and with our daughter last night. It was clear from early on, that our daughter slept the best with us. Having a family bed is the only way that we all sleep well at night.
My first never slept in the crib (which was a hand down from a family member). Baby #2 spent naptime in the crib because I lost the luxury of snuggling on the couch with my sleeping infant while I had a toddler running around the house. Baby #3 wouldn’t sleep with me! I tried for the first several months and we didn’t do well… so she started sleeping in her crib (next to my bed) at 6 months of age (she also has since been diagnosed with SPD and is on the Autism Spectrum, so not a typical child). I could have skipped the crib for sure with my first (and the bassinet my MIL purchased for me was NEVER used). I think if you have a sling, a safe carseat, cloth nappies and some comfy jammies you really have what you need. The rest is extra.
In regards to sleeping on the floor, what do you do about a wandering baby? I’d be afraid I would not hear him get out of the bed and be subject to some unforseen danger. Currently we cosleep in my bed, but falling out is becoming a concern (if wakes up and crawls off). But at least I’d hear the boom. Thanks.
We co-slept our first baby, and it nearly ruined our relationship, our jobs, etc. We were exhausted all the time, and so too was the baby. There was zero intimacy (how can there be?)
My brother and his wife still co-sleep (and breast feed) their 2.5 year old). I can’t imagine that. They don’t seem happy.
Co-sleeping might be more eco friendly, but so is skipping toilet paper, not bathing, etc. It sure wasn’t for us. Probably the most eco-friendly side benefit of co-sleeping is that it all but guarantees an only child!
A side comment on the crib debate is that the CPSC and other regulatory bodies make cribs far less eco-friendly every year. Like car seats and other “safety” items, cribs are required to be massively over-engineered. Additionally, the rules for acceptable cribs change every year, so even the baby buying guides strongly caution against buying or using a used crib. Every new mom is frightened into buying a new crib.
I am all for the floor bed option, but my concern is the pets. At least with a crib I can be fairly certain the cats won’t be able to get in, at least until I’m sure the cats can be trusted not to curl up asleep on top of my sleeping baby.
Actually, cats can get into cribs just as easily as they can get onto floor beds. http://www.allsands.com/pets/cats/catandbaby_zun_gn.htm
There is a SLIM risk of cats with babies, and this needs to be monitored wherever the baby is, until the baby is old enough to maneuver itself out of the way, strong enough to wriggle until the cat gets off! It’s similar to the issue with blankets — not to be used until the baby is old enough to take them off himself.
We do have two cats, and it’s never been a problem for us. They tended to curl up NEAR the baby to keep an eye on her, but never next to or on top of her. Now that she’s not a baby anymore, though, they do now heh - and of course, all cats are different, some truly are not to be trusted!
I’m more comfortable with a tiny infant next to me, where *I* can keep the cats away, than if she were in another room, in a crib or floor bed or whatever, until she’s old enough to be safe on her own.