Published on April 21st, 2009
When in doubt, I buy European. It can be pricey, but European goods are, as a rule, greener than US products because their governments have mandated more and stronger safety laws around children’s products (for example, they banned BPA 10 years ago). So, for the must-haves with no apparent green alternatives (e.g. car seats), I try to buy a European brand.
I run every baby bath care product through the Skin Deep cosmetics database, a trusted source for researching how safe your bath and body products are.
I create green gift registries for every holiday and birthday (well, she’s only had the one birthday so far). I try to be directive with family and friends about what we need so that we don’t get a bunch of unwanted plastic, nonorganic junk in the house (I’m sure my in-laws think I’m a control freak). You can cobble together products from any website into one registry through www.myregistry.com—then you can get all the eco products you want from various sources. I also encourage people to shop at used book stores and second hand stores for good finds.
I look forward to the day where we don’t have to go to special stores or special sections of big stores to buy “green” products. I look forward to the day when it would be unthinkable to make or sell anything that couldn’t be safely put in a baby’s mouth—baby-related product or otherwise. I look forward to the day that every hand-me-down is a green product that will eventually become food for the planet or can be infinitely recycled*.
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This type of hyperobsessiveness is why IMHO moms who have more than one kid are better parents. When one has multiple children, one simply does not have the time or energy to overthink every single little thing.
Do I make a serious effort to live simply and be a good steward of God’s creation? Absolutely! Am I a total control freak about it? No. I don’t need to run myself ragged trying to be “perfect” when I’m living a much more eco-friendly lifestyle than the overwhelming majority of American moms.
Environmental safety is as important as food and shelter for a child. Green isn’t a “nice-to-have.” Often, not always, buying safe products amounts to simply making a choice between quality and quantity. Whether you have one child or five, better to think about long-term health and do everything you can to protect it. Being green isn’t about being a perfect parent. It’s as basic as food, water and air.
I love your point of view! Maybe because I don’t have children yet…
But I think Crimson Wife doesn’t explain why she thinks moms with “hyperobsessiveness” are worst than other moms. Because she let her child cry in the car? Children need love not tons of toys.
I love this post!
In response to Crimson Wife, she explains why she is going into detail. She’s been working in the eco-business sector so she “knows to much” thus leaving her with all these voices in her head as she makes decisions for her child. And yes, we all know that with our first we tend to have extra time to think more, but is that necessarily a bad thing. I’m not thinking CW gets the extremity of the eco-system we are dealing with.
I just saw Bill McDonough speak yesterday at Cornell and it was amazingly uplifting. I’m just so happy to hear that people in the business sector are hearing this message.
Good for you Allison, your the type of mom we need to help elicit change that supports health for every person, animal, plant on this planet.
There’s a lot of doubt surrounding which methods/products are truly sustainable and which are just green washing. Sometimes we need someone to get to the “bottom” of it all - Check out our myth-busting video “What’s Your Big Green Lie?!” which gives a taste of the widespread ignorance of green issues including cloth VS disposable diapers at http://www.biggreenlies.com.
Of course I don’t think hyperobsessive control freak parents are the worst ones out there. The worst parents are the ones who simply don’t care about their kids. It’s obviously better to care too much than too little!
But I feel strongly that parents should strive for the “happy medium”, trying to be a “good enough” parent rather than obsessing about every single solitary little thing in a futile attempt to be a “perfect” mom. The big stuff is what is most important to the health of our children and our planet. Freaking out about 100% of the small stuff is not likely to make a significant difference in the long run- just think of all the awful stuff we were exposed to as kids and we turned out just fine. And frankly I don’t think it’s good for a child’s mental health to be raised by an overly anxious “helicopter” mom.
I’ve never met a new mother who isn’t a bit “hyperobsessive” about their first child! I certainly fell under that category with my first and, similar to what Crimson Wife seemed to say, was more relaxed and a better parent to my kids after I had my second child.
Allison’s blog was a great starting point for those of us hoping to make better (greener) choices for our kids and hardly sounded like a helicopter mom “freaking out about 100% of the small stuff”. She courageously admitted her shortcomings and her worries - not unlike my mother who was a nurse obsessing over unlikely accidents that could befall me or my kids. She had seen too much! Let’s be grateful for being privy to the journey Allison is on and the work she’s done and willing to share with us!
And a word about what we were exposed to and how we turned out just fine: why do I see so many 40-somethings getting cancer? Prostate, testicular, breast, the list goes on and on of people in my life who are in their 40’s receiving these diagnoses. I wouldn’t count on that for my kids!