Why Jon & Kate Plus Eight Can Teach Me How NOT to Parent
I’ll admit that I totally used to watch TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus Eight. We don’t have cable, but my grandparents do, and what ELSE is there to do when we visit them but watch the Jon & Kate Plus Eight marathon that it seems is always on?
And sure, I really enjoyed the show at first. The little kids were cute, and it was entertaining to spend an hour seeing two adults tearing their hair out trying to complete the simplest of tasks, like grocery shopping, or getting dressed, with six toddlers and two older kids.
And the parents? They were AWESOME! Kate’s obsessive need to dress the kids identically and keep a fastidious house clashing with her husband’s desire to just chill–now that’s entertainment.
I visited my grandpa at Christmas, though, and again for Spring Break, and I was disturbed to see that the tenor of Jon & Kate Plus Eight has really changed over its few seasons. The show has gone from a documentary about how to parent through the hard times, with integrity and an emphasis on maintaining family connections, to a documentary about a couple of stage parents and all the misery they put their unloved and ill-behaved little kids through in order to bring in the cash. Here’s why I think Jon & Kate Plus Eight has become distinctly family-unfriendly, both for me to watch and for Jon and Kate and their children to live through:
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- Is it just me, or do Jon and Kate not seem to actually even like each other anymore? Kate’s always sniped at Jon, and we always knew it was rude (HOW many times, exactly, has she bellowed angrily at him from across a crowded public place?), but they’d talk about it later, and Kate would look chagrined and sort of apologize. I could relate. Now, though? They seem to constantly snipe at each other in that painful way that you, the bystander, really and truly don’t want to have to watch. I saw my husband’s cousin and her husband do the same exact thing on a vacation we all took together one time–their divorce was finalized by the same time next year.
- All they seem to care about is getting more and more free stuff. One of the things I liked best about the show’s early seasons was how they weren’t wealthy. They talked about having to cut costs, and how it was important to them to sacrifice so that they could feed their kids organic foods, and their parenting philosophy behind not providing their kids with an abundance of toys–this is all stuff I can agree with. In these later seasons, however, it seemed as if every episode consisted of one or both of the adults dragging the kids on some trip that I suspected was free (Hawaii? Disney World? Sesame Place?), utilizing a LOT of product placement (Seriously, they will go on and on and on about weird stuff like how much all their kids just love the V-Smile game system, for instance), and being mean to the kids while they’re there (in the Disney World episode, Kate ripped free ice cream away from her hot and tired kids, who then began to scream and cry and hit each other, all because she didn’t want them to get sticky). It would be nice if less emphasis was placed on going places and getting stuff, and more on simpler things that it might actually be more fun for eight small children and two adults to do as a family.
- This lack of privacy can’t be good for the kids. I’ve seen Jon & Kate’s children in the shower, having a bowel movement, feeling very ill–in all kinds of vulnerable situations that I, personally, would not give permission to be filmed, myself. It was different when the sextuplets were toddlers, because everyone knows that toddlers don’t even want any privacy, but they’re around five years old, now, an age where, no matter what Jon & Kate say, they are too old to just simply be going about their days oblivious to and unaffected by all the camera equipment and production staff that must be following them around. They’re like child actors on a television series, now, and everyone has heard the horror stories of what those kids face when they grow up.
- I think it’s a bad idea to give birth to large multiples of children. It’s sort of like my “Support the Troops, End the War” stance in that I’ll do my part to support kiddos who are already here–yes, including using my taxes–but I’m becoming increasingly disturbed by the media reports that are becoming more prevalant about other women (some of whom also seem disturbed–hello, Octomom) who are also having these multiples. Is this what I’ve taught the media that I want to see? If so–oops.
I just feel too uncomfortable to watch Jon & Kate Plus Eight now. The last time I watched it at Papa’s house, I felt as if it was inappropriate for me to be watching someone else’s children so closely. I felt as if I was witnessing the downward spiral of a formerly positive and healthy family, corrupted by money and fame. I felt as if I shouldn’t be supporting the actions of these parents, who I no longer believe are acting in the best interests of their children.
And then I turned off the show, and whatever they do next, I won’t have to be a part of it.
I couldn’t agree more. They have gotten very greedy.
What would have been wrong with only filming 3-4 episodes a year in order to supplement their income? Instead they are now filming 40-some episodes as their main income, in addition to the “love offerings” and book sales.
They purchased a 1.3 million dollar home but can’t repay the state of PA for the birth of the sextuplets? I’m extremely annoyed with the evolution of this family and won’t allow it in my home any more.
Thank you for writing this, I feel the same way about this program. Great article.
4. It’s not like it’s their freaking fault that they had six children at once. It is a freakish event that happens very rarely.
Why don’t you cut them some freaking slack for raising 8 kids, let alone having to deal with their own marriage.
I’m probable not their #1 fan but I don’t know what bothers me more, people like you dissecting how Jon and Kate should parent or people bitching about other people for the sake of being jealous. Freaking don’t watch the show and shut the fuck up.
Actually, it is their fault they had six children at once. Kate was hospitalized with hyper-stimulated ovaries. Kate was sent home and told they would try another time. Then, she turned up pregnant with 7 about a month and a half later. The only way that could have happened is if they went against doctor’s orders and had sex while she had hyper-stimulated ovaries. This was a conscious act. And against medical advice.
Wow Scott…why don’t we abolish free speech while we are at it eh? You didn’t have to read this article potty mouth! maybe anger management…
I agree with some of the things you said- like the need for less toys, apologizing, and how children shouldn’t be recorded with every private moment there for the world to see. I don’t, however, agree with your stance on multiples. Would you rather parents with triplets have an abortion simply to save themselves the trouble? (AND I’m pro-choice btw.)
As to how these children were conceived- perhaps she had birth control that didn’t work? And before getting all riled up let me add- birth control can and does fail sometimes. Fortunately it did for me.
Either way she was married. She has a right to be intimate with her husband if they so choose.
I mean, there are just so many things I could throw out at that multiples statement. Twins run in my family. It IS genetic- not a choice for the majority. Saying and thinking they shouldn’t have children- well, why not just call us New China right now? Let the loss of rights begin.
I can’t stand the show. Kate is nuts and poor Jon has to take all her abuse. He’d probably leave her, but it would violate the show’s contract. When my wife was pregnant with our first child, I cringed every time I caught a preview on TLC as it gave me visions of what would happen if we had that many.
This show was also TLC’s first in a line of “who can have the most spawn” shows, there a few others, like the people with 12 kids and the folks with 30 kids or so. All of the TLC shows, including shows that don’t focus on how many kids one can have are just reality shows with product placement. The show “Little People, Big World” is always installing new products in their house or going on what are obviously product-placement vacations.
Let me clarify–as I said before, these kids are “large multiples,” not twins or triplets or even quads, and they were created not through unprotected sex, but through modern medicine.
They’re not freaks of nature or accidents of birth control, but the wonders of science. And I say we should love them and protect them now that they’re here, but we should also seriously think about whether or not it’s okay for science to cause a woman to gestate to six, seven, and eight children at one time.
It’s hard physically for the mother, it’s hard physically for the fetuses, and it’s a big burden to carefully care for large multiples of premature babies.
And if people do it anyway, then okay, we should still help them pay for and take care of their children, but we shouldn’t, perhaps, let them turn their kids into working television stars with their private moments aired world-wide, just to earn themselves a ton of cash.
I too, used to enjoy J&K+8. I too, also can no longer bring myself to watch it.
I did mind the early chaos. I didn’t mind Kate’s anal retentiveness (in fact, I’d argue with a house that full that it was a necessity). I didn’t even mind the snippiness (I get short tempered sometimes, and I only have 2 singles!).
However, I cannot stand the sense of entitlement they now seem to ooze. For me, the defining show moment came with the move-in to the new house - as Kate is gazing out her kitchen window (with nary a child anywhere in sight) . . . does she reflect on how blessed they are? Does she even muse over how the family will enjoy and explore all the new space together? Nope.
“Mine. All mine.”
I have no desire to bear witness to that kind of miserable, lonely existence. I no longer believe that they’re “a family and in this together.”
K, that was supposed to say:
“I did NOT mind the early chaos.” LOL