What Not to Say to Pregnant Women

Look at you, ya beautiful pregnant woman! You glow! There you are, ready to bring life into this world, waddling through grocery stores and Farmers’ Markets. Feeling beautiful and just a little spacey.

Well, what do you know? Turns out that holding the gift of life in your womb makes you a trash receptacle for other peoples’ baggage.

I have had some—shall we say?—interesting comments during my pregnancies. But I also turned to Twitter and Facebook, as well as my friends in real life. Here are some of the funniest and most disturbing comments women have gotten during their nine months with child.

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Let me start by saying that it’s not always safe to ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless it is quite clear that she is, like when the baby is crowning.

That said, here are some of the things that you should not say to a pregnant woman. Like, ever.

  • Are you having twins?
  • I hope you’re not planning on giving birth naturally.

One of my fiancée’s ex-girlfriends said when she found out I was pregnant, ‘I hope she’s not planning on giving birth vaginally. I have herpes, and I heard that can be a problem’. Nice time to tell us! (We were clean, though.)

  • Is your husband the father?
  • Looks like the Titty Fairy visited you again!
  • Are you going to keep it?
  • You’re not the first woman to have a baby. (duh.)
  • Haven’t you figured out how to use birth control yet?
  • When are you quitting your job?  Now that you’ll have two, your husband is going to “let” you stay home, right?
  • You look like you’re going to pop!
  • Who’s baby is it?
  • Don’t you have enough kids already?
  • You have 9 more months of this.
  • AND another actual quote:

Giving birth is like sh*tting a ham.

Wow. Those are gems, eh? You’d think idiotic comments like this would stop the moment you do into labor. Sadly, no:

  • Can you stop pushing? (Reasons: doctor isn’t here/we need to monitor the fetus)
  • If you don’t put him in the nursery tonight, he could aspirate and die.

Wow! What a way to start that fabulous journey into parenthood!

Oh…and one more tip for the clueless masses? Don’t touch a stranger’s belly. Ever.

How about you? What was the worst thing you were told or asked as you readied to bring life into this world?

Image: helgasms! on Flickr under a Creative Commons License.

Comments

  1. During my most recent pregnancy a stranger saw me and said “You must have had a BIG LUNCH!”. He thought he was hilarious. I didn’t agree.

    Another fave: “Wow! Are you sure there’s only one baby in there??”

  2. Awesome post! I’ve even gotten “wow, you’re huge!”

    And on the topic of not touching a strangers belly, parents should also teach their kids not to touch other people’s babies. It is amazing the number of kids (and old ladies) that I have to fend off at the grocery store!

  3. Too funny!
    for about 3 weeks before my son came (including the 5 days overdue) I heard “Are you sure your having him soon? you don’t even look like you have dropped” every day from people. Yeah I was sure – I had a 10+ pound baby with his head resting on my pelvic bone and ultrasounds to confirm it, he was just huge! people!

  4. I got ‘And I thought I got big when I was pregnant’ from a worker at Old Navy, along with being called ‘pumpkin’ or ‘Barney’ from the president of my company if I wore a orange or purple dress. Oh the joys of pregnancy.

  5. When my husband and I became pregnant with our 4th (planned) child, we were asked repeatedly, did you plan this? Are you happy to be having another one? I mean, how rude is that, do these old women not remember that THEIR mothers had 15 children?!

  6. I’m an average-sized woman currently expecting my second child, with about two months to go. My cousin’s wife — a tiny slip of a thing who could easily be knocked over by a slight gust of wind — is due about a month before me with her first. My aunt recently commented about how big I was , so I asked if her daughter-in-law looked big too. “Oh no,” she said. “But then she’s not big-boned like you are.” Ummm, thanks.

  7. Just thought I’d throw in a positive story, to show that not everyone is clueless (although many are, lol). When I was pregnant with my son, I was constantly bombarded with things like “you’re so big – are you sure you’re not having twins?” That was the big thing among friends and family “Oh Alyson is sooo big, she MUST be having twins.”

    Then one day, I went to a family reunion on my husband’s side, and his grandmother was there (a woman who actually DID have twins.) I told her about all the comments people were making, and she just took one look at me and said “No. There’s no way you’re having twins. You’re not NEARLY big enough.” I could have kissed her! I told THAT story for the rest of my pregnancy. Especially when someone commented on how big I was :D.

  8. Big is beautiful ladies, knock it off.
    Think about those ladies who aren’t as big as they should be when they hear comments like: “Are you sure your pregnant?”, “Eat something preggo!” Or what we just heard today ” Are those twins even alive in there?”
    People suck anywhere & everywhere. Pregnant women are hot, plain and simple.
    I gotta go hug my wife, scuse me.

  9. Big is beautiful ladies, knock it off.

    Think about those ladies that aren’t as big as they should be when they hear comments like: “Are you sure you’re pregnant?”, “Eat something preggo” or what we heard today “Are those twins alive in there?”

    People suck no matter if youre big or slim, here or there.

    Pregnant women are hot, plan and simple.

    Ima go hug my wife now, scuse me.

  10. Up until the last month or so, I got a lot of:

    - “You don’t even look pregnant.” (Gee, really? I sure FEEL pregnant.)
    - “Are you sure you’re eating enough? You’re supposed to eat for two, you know.” (Actually, no, no you’re not.)
    - “Pshh.. you call THAT a baby bump? Come ON!” (Almost direct quote from my blog comments when I posted a pic of me at 16 weeks. *sigh*)

    THEN, when I hit about 8 and a half months and I was more baby than body, I got stuff like:

    - “Wow, are you having twins?” (I just smiled and said “Yep!”)
    - “Wow, you must be overdue!” or “You must be due very soon.” (I loved telling people I was IN labor when they said this.)

    My son was born a perfectly health 7 lb. 3 oz. five days before his due date.

    I know I’m in the minority, but I LOVED being pregnant. I have never felt more beautiful in all my life. I know women are goddesses, but I actually felt like one when I was pregnant.

  11. Wow! You guys have had some good ones!

    Actually, I also LOVED being pregnant. I felt strong and beautiful, too.

    But it never ceases to amaze me the things people say to women when they’re bringing life into the world. Also, people say things they would NEVER say to, say, a fat person. Who walks up to strangers and comments on what they’re eating and the shape of their belly? Only happens to women when they are pregnant. Odd.

  12. At 38 weeks with my second daughter (who weighed in at 9lbs 7ozs, delivered vaginally), a big man on crutches yells across the home improvement store “How many babies you got in there?” Gee… thanks Pop.

    I adored being pregnant… even when I was throwing up nonstop for five months each time. :)

    My sister was expecting twins at the same time I was expecting my second… EVERYONE, and I mean every single person we know, commented on how HUGE I was, how much bigger than my sister, etc… but “oh, from behind you can’t even tell you’re pregnant”. My one baby weighed as much as her twins combined and I’m several inches shorter and a few dozen lbs smaller on an everyday basis!

  13. I was really large with baby #2 and frequently got “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?” and the classic “You’re so big, they’ve must’ve gotten you’re due date wrong.” Jerks!

  14. Hurted Badly says:

    i think no one and esp. the husband should not say to his pregnant wife that “pregnancy is not a disease and everyone has to go thru every pain”
    People should not be bothered if you find a pregnant woman being more cautious about her bump esp. during her first pregnancy.
    Last thing, dont “curse” any pregnant woman even if she’s being rude in any arguments… i think thats the worse thing anyone can do to her… who knows what all she goes thru cuz of her hormones!!!