So — if you think the Ikea should have the right to kindly ask the mom to go to the bathroom because other people were complaining, do you also think that they would have the right to ask a black person to leave the store because people were complaining about their presence? Or to ask a gay couple not to hold hands while in their store? Or a polling station attendant to ask a woman to leave the voting line because some men had complained?

Those examples are (hopefully) obviously ludicrous… because we’re in a society that now (for the most part at least) fully recognizes those rights as acceptable.

And yet, 10, 20, 50 years ago, those things would have happened on a regular basis, and if the internet had existed then, you can bet there would be defenders all over the place saying “black people are so in-your-face, how dare they come into our white-only stores being all exhibitionist with their black-ness, that’s disgusting.” Or “I support black equality, but I’m still uncomfortable with my kids sharing a class with them… they can easily go to their own schools, it’s not like they don’t have that option.”

If people have the right to do something or be somewhere, then NO ONE else has the right to ask them to stop or to go away just because some other people were complaining. The ones complaining are the ones in the wrong. The fact that they are uncomfortable is the problem, not the fact of the person doing the thing making them uncomfortable.

If you look at historical comparisons of other ‘human rights’ kind of issues… many people were “uncomfortable” with “coloured folk” sharing the same busses, drinking fountains, and schools as their white children. Their discomfort didn’t negate the fact that black people SHOULD have equal rights. The fact that people were uncomfortable with it — many of those people being intelligent and compassionate — was itself the problem.

They were brought up to believe a certain set of societal rules, and that dictates their comfort level. That doesn’t mean those rules are right or fair.

Men were “uncomfortable” with women having the vote. People are “uncomfortable” with gays getting married, or even showing affection (ie, holding hands) in public.

Simply because people are still “uncomfortable” with an idea, does not mean that we should just sit back and wait until they ARE comfortable with it before engaging with and practicing the idea. Only proclaiming the idea despite people’s discomfort will (slowly) begin to change perceptions. Imagine if black people had not forced the issue but just waited until white people changed their minds about segregation, out of fear of making them “uncomfortable.”

I’m not advocating rabble-rousing just to make trouble. But when it’s a legitimate rights issue, oftentimes showcasing the discomfort level of society is the only way to make progress. We can’t just naively accept that some people are uncomfortable so we should “respect that”… their discomfort is a reflection of the (wrong) attitudes of the society in general. Not necessarily their fault, of course, we’re all a product of our societal paradigms. But it is what it is, and that’s where we are lol…

I don’t know what I would have done if they had given me a hard time. I mean, it’s IKEA. It’s like a week’s walk to the bathroom from most of the store.

@star: You said “…luckily never had to use [your bf rights card].” after a combined total of about 4 years nursing my two kids, my biggest regret is that some jerk never gave me a hard time. I have had all of these witty comebacks, and legal explanations saved up for years, and never had the chance to use a one.

http://www2.worldpub.net/images/parenting/pdf/btcard_0707latest.pdf

As a breastfeeding mother, if anyone told me to go to a bathroom to feed my child, I would more than upset. I live in California, where the same law is upheld as NY.

I blame the formula companies for making it seem like breastfeeding is a sinful act.