I think maybe the acceptance camp needs to understand that some people are opting to just let their child stim all day and using this theory as a justification. I have seen it. That concerns me. Kids need life skills, period. Sometimes surpressing autism symptoms is need to do this.

I do want to address the idea that parents try to “cure” autism so they can have a “normal” child. Unlike the school, my husband I had no intention of trying to do away with our son’s stims, repetitive behaviors, etc; all we wanted to cure was his crippling GI problems, which conventional doctors refused to acknowledge and had no treatment for, because its ‘normal’ for a child who eats regular meals to be severely underweight, with pale, yeasty diarrhea pouring out of him 4-5 times per day. Sure.

We could not afford a DAN! doctor, so instead we started our own course of treatment; a natural method of chelation and replenishment (high-quality vitamin supplements, probiotics, digestive enzymes, glutathione) and not only did it CURE his GI problems (I’m serious: not one GI upset in nearly a year!), he has no more food intolerance or eczema, and his autism is much milder than it was; other than his stimming and mild sensory issues, he is virtually indistinguishable from his peers as long as he knows what to expect. He is no longer violent and angry. He no longer spits on people or screams intermittently.

Like I said, we could accept him the way he was, but that would mean accepting the physical ailments that commonly accompany autism. We owed it to him to help heal those ailments so he wouldn’t be in constant pain; the recovery that came along with it was just a bonus.

Some friends of ours used to be against biomedical treatments, too. Until their 7 year old with Down Syndrome was diagnosed with severe autism; after years of not having appropriate treatment at his school (because he wasn’t properly diagnosed), his parents began biomedical treatments and the GFCF diet… within 4 weeks he went from absolutely no speech whatsoever (not even scholalia) to a vocabulary of about 10 contextual words! It was frightening to witness the “die-off” effect of the supplements, but seeing this child emerge from his lonely, silent world was absolutely beautiful.

I have two autistic children. One is a step child, the other is my own. I have avery unique perspective as my step child mother has pushed “acceptance” while I have pushed for both “recovery” and “acceptance for people to understand my son’s uniqueness.

I put my son on a gfcf diet, gave him supplements, tooke him to social skills classes, OT/PT/speech, music classes, etc. I use NO MEDICATION and have documented in a huge binder with “before” and now information. My son is reading on a thrid grade level in kindergarten, can now speak, no longer bangs his head, flaps, bites, screams, kicks and has friends. Yes he has quirks like being really into time and numbers, but we are not ashamed of it and try to get others to understand him.

My step son who is now 18 (his diagnosis was lighter than my son) cannot wite on is own, is struggling in school and will not be living on his own. Great we can all “accept” him as he is, but wouldn’t it be nicer if we could accept him as he lived and worked independant as an adult.

I believe you can do both, accept and help. My fear is that the “acceptance” theroy is a cover for lazy parenting.

I love to see people do both both. I am sure lot’s of kids would say as adults I like being autistic – I know my step son says it. Yeah, he likes not having to have a job, being cared for and to spend the rest of his life having someone else take care of him. Who wouldn’t?

It sadden’s me everyday about what my step son could have done with his life as an autistic person with LIFE SKILLS his mother’s acceptance theory robbed him of that.