While our family is on the light green side of eco living, we really do our best to have a green holiday – particularly when it comes to buying natural, handmade gifts and wrapping and decorating. But it seems as though no matter how green we try to go over the holiday season, my in-laws have the amazing ability to completely undo it with their 10 tons of wrapping paper, battery operated and electronic toys, not to be topped by the tiny little plastic gifts and bags of candy. Basically, it’s like they buy out the entire Dollar Store and stuff it in my kids’ stockings.
You’d think that because they live far away from us and aren’t able to join us for the holidays, it would be easy to handle. However, they send over three boxes worth of gifts for everyone (including us) and then bring more when they do come to visit around New Year’s. And while both my husband and I beg them to just purchase gifts that they kids have asked for (read: ones that we want), they just don’t listen. We appreciate their giving spirits, but when most of the items are things we’d never ever purchase (for various reasons), it becomes difficult to be thankful.
So, here are some suggestions on how to stay green with the grandparents:
1) Make an Amazon list and always “blame” the kids. “Well, Johnny realllllllllly wants that wooden truck. He can’t stop talking about it.” They’re generally swayed more if you tell them that it’s the kids who want the “boring” wooden toys.
2) Ask for gift cards. Granted, our in-laws are morally against gift-cards (giving and receiving them), so if that’s the case, ask for gift cards for yourself. That will at least cut down on a few gifts and several pounds of wrapping paper. Some grandparents will give their kids cash so that they can do the shopping themselves. Sounds dreamy…
3) Think outside the box. Most grandparents want to see their kids open the presents, but if you live far away, or have open-minded grannies and pop-pops, ask for something like a museum membership. The kids will get far more long term enjoyment and you’re not adding to the pile of toys in your house. Then just make sure to invite them along (if they live close) or take pics of the kids having the time of their lives and send them.
4) Ask them not to wrap. Okay, don’t laugh. I know it can be nearly impossible to convince grandparents not to wrap presents, if you tell them it allows the kids to play with them more quickly, sometimes they will oblige. If you’re feeling ballsy, then lie and tell them you’ll wrap the gifts for them. Of course, this really only works when you live far away, but what they don’t know won’t hurt them. If you feel bad, then wrap the gifts in homemade wrapping paper or other recycled paper products.
5) Barter hard. If they have to wrap and send ridiculous amounts of useless things (even after you beg and plead – believe me, we’ve been there), then tell them you and your husband just want a charity gift card. Donate it to your favorite green charity and go have a big drink.
How do you deal with not-so-green grandparents? Do you make a list? Do they stick to it? Do you save all the wrapping paper? Do tell.
[photo via]
[This post was written by Kristen Chase.]
or you could relax a little. the social value of your grandparents sending gifts and taking time over this surely outweighs any negative aspects from the toys and paper. you need to make sure you recycle the paper or better still re-use it. and the same for the toys. im sure some deprived children in your area would be overjoyed with the gift of a plastic toy.
you could always give the gifts away and buy other presents for your children (and say they are from your grandparents). that way everyone is happy.
i think a look at the bigger picture is often required.
keep up the green efforts and have a happy christmas.
I understand your plight, but I’ve been working on mine longer, so it’s a little easier. My mother in law knew I was frugal, so for a while we exchanged the same gift wrap back and forth for years. I’ve been known to ask for my gift bags back because I don’t like wrapping paper and gift bags are reusable. They roll their eyes and hand it over.
I completely understand. It’s almost they use the gift aspect of the season to completely overrule you on your household. Or at least mine do. I’m pretty sure if I said no dangerous weapons they’d give my kids real machine guns and be offended that I don’t appreciate the gifts. LOL
It’s had to donate the gifts after the holidays, unless you can handle you kids crying and wailing over their new toys going away. Luckily as they get older you can explain and explain and explain enough to your kids to help them understand why you are opposed to certain toys. Of course by then they’ve moved past the wooden truck stage. The irony!
I have to ask: Do your in-laws read this blog? I would love to write an entry like this. However, I don’t b/c they read my blog and would never speak to me again.
This year, our 3.5 year-old was old enough to do a list. That helped a bit, I think (hope). I know she’s getting the stroller she wants. However, I am anticipating the girls opening up junk as usual.
What gets me really upset is that they know my husband and I try to be “green.” They know we don’t eat lots of store bought candy and are selective about toys. I think they send us some of the stuff they do just to get me upset. I have brought things that I know we wouldn’t use back to Walmart (for store credit (and used the credit to buy underwear, books, photo prints, etc).
What upsets me even more, is that they don’t have a lot of money. So, why they don’t call and ask what the girls want/need, is beyond me. Instead, they spend money they don’t have on junk. I would rather they spent their hard earned money on 1 or 2 quality items instead of sending junk toys from Walmart and the Dollar Store. Or, better yet, buy them each one thing and contribute some money to their college funds!
Always, it’s the thought that counts. I remind myself of that when I’m disappointed in what they sent…
No, they don’t read this, Natalie (phew). But I hear you completely.
What’s worse is that they play “Whose toy did you like best?”
And maybe even worse is that they ask about the toys later down the road as well as the candy (which I generally toss immediately).
They’re just different kinds of people and receive gratification from the material whereas we (and my mom) are more about the experiences of life and time spent together.
I’ve accepted that my parents just aren’t green… they start shopping in January and don’t stop until Christmas. My Mom is terminally ill, so we’ve decided to let her have her fun. Afterall, these are her last years with us and I don’t want to put a damper on it! Luckily, she includes gifts like jammies and movie buckets (with a DVD, popcorn, etc…) so it’s not all plastic toys.
Before the reality of losing a grandparent hit us, we worked harder on trying to get them to be more eco-friendly, now that we know life is so short and some people aren’t inclined to change from their shopping binges, we just let it slide. I know that in a few months, most of those toys will find their way to a local charity… but at least Mom has her fun in the meantime!