I swear you can find a research study to support any belief, custom, practice. Spanking is no exception. I’ve always fallen under the thought that spanking, a form of physical violence used for disciplining, teaches children that hitting is an appropriate solution to social problems.
In my 14 years in education, the children that were spanked by their parents are often the ones who exhibit more behavior and socialization problems later in life. A new study does supports my experience about aggressive behavior, but it also finds that “children who are smacked before the age of six perform better at school when they are teenagers.”
Young children who are smacked by their parents grow up to be happier and more successful than those who have never been hit, research claims…
They are also more likely to do voluntary work and to want to go to university than those who have never been physically disciplined.
It is not all good news for those that are disciplined with a heavy hand. Academic success comes at a cost of physical aggression:
But the study also revealed that children who are smacked after the age of six were more likely to exhibit behavioural problems, such as being involved in fights.
Those who had been smacked between seven and 11 fared worse on negative behaviour but were more likely to be academically successful. Teenagers who were still smacked fared worst on all counts.
In Eur0pe, spanking is illegal in 20 countries. Sweden became the first country to ban spanking in 1979. In the United States, spanking laws vary by states but seem to have a common thread it is alright to use physical force if the parent “reasonably believes it necessary and appropriate to maintain discipline or promote welfare of the child”. In my state of California, hitting a child for discipline purposes is legal as long as it does not leave a mark, but what about the emotional marks one can’t see?
Obviously, there are flaws with this study.
What do you mean “Obviously, there are flaws with this study?” Did you read the study? How do you know there are significant flaws? Tell us what these flaws are.
I have a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and thousands of hours of clinical experience. My wife and I also teach parenting and marriage courses.
The “no spanking” description stereotypically fits the permissive parenting model. The spank after 6 and certainly after 12 stereotypically fits the authoritarian model. But the SMACKING up to age six stereotypically fits the authoritative model. Psychologist Diana Baumrind found that children raised in authoritative homes were most likely to be socially confident, friendly, self-disciplined, cooperative, and achievement oriented.
Authoritative parents show the same high expectations for their
children as authoritarian parents, but they also show a high degree of warmth and
responsiveness. They are loving and supportive. As they guide their children, they
“encourage verbal give and take and share with their children the reasoning behind their policies.” These parents “exert firm control at points of parent-child divergence but do not hem in their children with restrictions. Authoritative parents are demanding in that they guide their children’s activities firmly and consistently and require them to contribute to family functioning by helping with household tasks. They willingly confront their children in order to obtain conformity, state their values clearly, and expect their children to respect their norms.” Baumrind, “Rearing Competent Children,” 353–54.
I did not call the flaws “significant”; however, I believe the methodology makes the results less valid and reliable. Parent questionnaires do not yield the same results of a longitudinal study.
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled “spanking”,”swatting”,”switching”,”smacking”, “paddling”,or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like “Supernanny” and “Dr. Phil” are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit http://www.nospank.net.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
The vast majority of professionals agree that child buttock-battering isn’t healthy. A marginal few (mostly religious fundamentalists as those at Calvin) think that child bottom-slapping is good. They use the same selective literalist interpretation of the Bible as was used to justify “witch”-burning, depraved torture methods for those accused of sin and heresy, slavery, racism, wife-beating, oppression of women and a host of other social ills.
Spanking is just a way for sick and deranged people to get off on causing harm to helpless children. Makes me sick.
In response to D Bender;
One of the major flaws in the study is that it has not been completed!
“One of those new population studies underway is called Portraits of American Life. It involves interviews of 2,600 people and their adolescent children every three years for the next 20 years. Dr. Marjorie Gunnoe is working with the first wave of data on the teens.”
http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/nurtureshock/archive/2009/12/30/never-been-spanked.aspx
For those that want to work towards abolishing the physical assault of children, I have started a petition:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/america39s-behind–ban-the-physical-assault-of-children
spare the rod, spoil the child, i say!
As a person who did get spanked on occasion by my Father, I managed to grow up, and have a career, marriage, 5 children and 3 grandchildren, no alcohol or drug problems, or need of counseling. I never thought my dad was abusive, and I know he loved me. I spanked my 5 children 3 are adults guess what? No drugs or alcohol problems, all have jobs, and children.
There needs to be a clear definition of what you call spanking. I was never beaten with a belt, or a switch, just my dads hand. The spanking also came with a lecture on what I did wrong, and why I was getting spanked. I can count them on one hand, and so could my kids.
Maybe if kids had consequences growing up they wouldn’t be the little monsters I see in the malls, or grocery stores. I am tired of parents that cannot control their kids, and children who do not seem to know the first thing about Please, Thank You, Yes Sir, No Sir, but know how to scream NOOO and smack and kick their parents.
“Little monsters?” Really? I have not seen that. May be a few very young children who are tired or hungry or just need to have some time to play to get that energy out and do not need to be in the mall or grocery store, but how do you think parents should “control” their kids? Seems like you have some very unrealistic expectations of kids. And just because you were spanked and turned out fine, does not mean that everyone who was did or those who had other forms of discipline did not turn out fine, too. Do you understand the difference in being subjective and objective?
Dr. Gunnoe sent me copies of her very incomplete research and it is very flawed. Also Fox News did not report her research or findings correctly either.
When I studied research, 9 years ago, it was never considered a “major flaw” on a longitudinal study to make periodic reports of the progress. Interim reports are not “flaws.”
On Jennifer’s comment: of course, different research methods are going to yield different results but if both methods are appropriate and well done, the difference should be immaterial. What was the validity rate of the method used?
My concern is the extremism. There seems to be some of that in this thread. If you abolish the physical punishment of children, are you going to enforce it with fines or jail? Certainly not by beating the parents. If fines, you will take badly needed money from poor parents. In California, our jails are bursting already. It would seem ridiculous to put parents in jail here, considering all of the circumstances. If you sentenced them with parenting classes, that would be different.
The way to end, limit, severely reduce spanking and corporal punishment, seems to me, it to teach in mandated health classes in junior and senior high school the following: anger management, conflict resolution, how to avoid depression and anxiety, marriage training and parenting skills.
“How to Talk to Kids So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk” is a great book for 90-95% of American children and if their parents knew that material well and used it, the amount of corporal punishment would absolutely plummet.
Dean, I agree that book is really good. I think some people assume that if you don’t spank you are completely permissive. This is not the case at all. In fact, the child who we are having the most problems with at my school and is actually facing expulsion was spanked. The problem is his spanking seemed random for little things, while he could get away with big things with no consequence. It all boils down to good parenting, and how do you evaluate that based on a parent questionnaire? In my mind, if it is ok to spank your kids when they misbehave, is it ok to hit your spouse if they also do something you don’t like? We would never think of hitting an adult, so why is it ok for a child? I’ll admit, there were times when I wanted to spank my rambunctious daughter, but I took a deep breath and tried other positive discipline techniques. And yes, I was spanked as a child.
It’s amazing how many “experts” and so-called “professional organizations” line up against spanking, in total denial of a fundamental truth that has been universally known since antiquity: Some children, especially many male children, CAN NOT be made to conform to civilized behavioral standards without at least occasionally resorting to pain compliance measures. Timeouts, taking away toys, talking, etc, just do not have the same impact as a swat (or a paddle , for the older ones) on the backside. Pain gets through when nothing else will. Spanking, for lack of a better word, is good. Spanking is right. Spanking works.
All who deny this, either
(1) do not know what they are talking about (no matter how many useless soft-“science” pseudo-PhDs they’ve got),
(2) are somehow incapable of distinguishing a legitimate spanking from savage abuse — usually due to their own abuse, I suspect — and/or
(3) secretly know the truth but refuse to admit it because it conflicts with some stupid utopian ideology about the “goodness of mankind” that they desperately, desperately, desperately want to go on believing in defiance of the witness of all of human history.
(The contrary philosophy, that mankind is intrinsically “evil”, that human nature has an ineradicable “dark side” that won’t go away — but can usually be spanked into submission at an early age!!! — fits the facts of history perfectly but is profoundly unpalatable because it forces one to embrace either sociobiology or religion, both of which are very un-PC right now.)
Jennifer,
Did you get a copy of my “spammy” post? Which I did not send to get posted. It was a one page article I wrote that I thought you would like to read but I don’t know otherwise how to get it to you. It is a handout on little children that I give out in my parenting class.
If you have an email address you are willing to risk, please email me and I will send the one pager.
Dean
You asked many good questions, Jennifer…I think you’re questions were perhaps meant to be rhetorical, but its a worthy conversation. I’m a Christian that spanks my daughter (almost 3 years old) because I believe God has revealed his will in Scripture for our good and I see good examples of this everyday (Calvin College professors and students would likely agree). However, I think a parent questionnaire is a lousy method…I want to see the questions they asked. I can guarantee you that the way that I spank my child is not the same as many of the people answering that questionnaire. And spanking cannot be considered in a vacuum…it is one part of a complete approach to discipline (or should be). I’m absolutely opposed to heartless, inconsistent spanking…or any spanking without the whole biblical understanding of why and what for (I fear for those children). And without a biblical standard, your questions are all the more haunting: if its ok to spank kids, why not your spouse? how do you measure “good” parenting? what is “good”? I hope that Calvin College goes further than just pointing out that spanking is helpful to child development without answering these other questions as well. But anyone reading must look no further than that old dusty Bible sitting on their bookshelf.
Would you say, Jennifer, that your experience with spanking contributed to your flaws? Would you say that spanking is the primary factor in this child at your school having behavioral issues or are there perhaps numerous other red flags? Just curious. You made a point of emphasizing the inconsistency in the spanking…
You spank your two year old? How old was she when you started? Don’t you realize that a child that age does not understand why you are hitting her and that her way to learn is from exploration? Do you try distraction? Or putting things up that is dangerous or fragile? Making sure she is well rested, fed, and has playtime to get energy out before taking her out to the store. Providing her with something to entertain herself while you shop? You have some very unrealistic expectations for your daughter and do not understand normal child development of a two year old, if you think spanking is a good parenting tool. It is not Biblical to spank a two year old much less any other age child.
Dean, no I did not get it. Send to jennifer at ecochildsplay dot com. I look forward to reading it.
Aaron, I think as parent we often fall back on how we were raised (abusers are often abused as children). Sometimes I hear myself saying things my parents said to me, and they are not all bad. I think the desire to spank when my daughter is difficult comes from my prior childhood experience, but as I said, I do not spank.
Also, you are correct about the child that I mentioned. There is way more to the picture than just erratic spanking, lots of red flags. Spanking is not to blame entirely for his behavior, but he it certainly didn’t help. I do think that spanking sends children the wrong message about how to solve problems, guide behavior, etc. I think it is much easier for a child to act physical towards another child on the playground if this is how they are handled at home.
I also want to point out that yelling can be just as damaging as spanking. I remember learning in a graduate pysch course that verbal abuse is more difficult to overcome than physical abuse. Of course, a stern raised voice when a child needs reprimanding is not the same as verbal abuse that attacks a child’s self-esteem.
As for religion, I’ve always been confused by the spare the rod, spoil the child saying. I was raised Catholic, and I can interpret the saying two ways: if you don’t spank, your child will be spoiled or you should not spank, so that your child is spoiled. I can interpret spoiled as being showered with love and adoration, not overindulged as the modern sense of the term. I think children should be spoiled in the sense of cherished, but not from the sense of being allowed to run free and get whatever they want.
oh, and one more point I remember from my childhood…my sister remembers my mother yelling at us, I remember being spanked. Not sure what it means, but I think it is interesting. She is older than me, and I don’t remember any yelling.
I don´t remember my mom spanking us which she told me she had but I remember my dad not speaking to me for a whole week because he was so mad or disappointed in me and I have to say that was worse. Back then I wished he would have “just” spanked me.
People used to think it was necessary to “spank” adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual assault if a person over the age of 18 is “spanked”, but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, buttock-battering can vibrate the pudendal nerve, which can lead to sexual arousal. There are multitudinous other physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won’t list them all here. One can use the resources I’ve posted if they want to learn more.
@Jennifer
Definitely agree with your comment about the tendency to follow your parents example. Thankfully my father and I have the same approach to spanking: reluctance. I think if a parent is enjoying spanking, there is a serious problem. Not to get too preachy but there’s a verse in Hebrews (12:11) that says “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” In context its talking about how God disciplines those He loves (and how parents follow that same example). And I think that’s where the real issue lies. It’s not enough to say that spanking is good and anyone that doesn’t spank is bad. The parent that spanks their toddler or young child with instruction and loving discipline is not the same as the parent that just spanks their kid because they’re angry or annoyed or because “my parents did it.” There is a difference between “hitting your child” and discipline…a HUGE difference. One is generally meant to simply remove an annoyance to the parent, like swatting a fly. One is a concerted effort to grow and encourage and train a child. The same goes with yelling or any other form of punishment. I think this is the crux of the issue.
I think spanking makes the most sense at a young age – as the study also suggests. A physical punishment like spanking creates boundaries for young children where it would be foolish to attempt a reasoning approach. Ironically, the same people that lambast folks who use corporal punishment often seem oblivious to the damaging effects of violence-laden television shows and other types of media they expose their children to (I’m not saying you’re one of those people, by the way Jennifer).
The “spare the rod” quote from the bible is out of Proverbs in the Old Testiment. That was about 3,000 years ago during Soloman’s time when one could be punished by death for committing adultery. Eventhough most of Proverbs is good and wise, laws and rules from the Old Testiment need to be carefully considered in light of the teachings of the New Testiment before being adopted.
In the New Testiment, when the old law was being fulfilled and passed away and the new law was being given, Christ himself was very kind to the children, even healed one from a distance, called others to Him probably to spend time with them or give them a blessing and told His followers to become as children (meaning meek, humble and teachable), for such is the Kingdom of Heaven.
One thing that seems to be abundantly clear in all the posts everywhere is that people have great difficulty in distiguishing between Discipline and Abuse. More so, every child is different and cannot, must not, be disciplined the same. I will spank my children, but it will never be in anger and always as a very last resort. But it has to remain as a consequence. If there is no serious consequence….well, just look at our society we live in. Unfortunately, we find ourselves in a very serious downhill slope. In the olden days, where everybody was spanked, most people grew up in a healthy family enviroment. As a result, they created a healthy family enviroment for their own children. Abuse was the exception, and any statistic will prove that. Now we find ourselves unable to punish our children and as a result they are not creating the healthy families that makes society function. Just look at any teenage preganancy. How many of those turn out healthy families? I will punish my children and they will get spanked, not because I am sick and deranged(as some might say), but because I care to much and love my children too much not to. And the good thing is that if ever there is a method as effective as a good spanking, I will gladly endorse it. Until then….
In the olden days? I have to definitely disagree with you about your rose colored glasses perception that though everyone was spanked they grew up in a healthy family environment. I can tell you stories of older relatives (many of whom have been deceased for several years) that were right out abused. Statistics will not prove or disprove anything because it was rare that the abuse was reported or anything was done about it – it was believed to be a family matter that was no one else’s business. There were families that did not believe in spanking back then, too.
For Craig:
Child bottom-battering instills virtue?:
Why would you insist that bottom-battering be reserved only for the underage? Also, FYI, the states with the highest rates of child bottom-battering also perform the worst academically, have the highest drop-out rates, and the highest crime rates. Virtually all prisoners were “spanked” as children. Our country has the highest incarceration rate in the world, and was the only UN member that failed to ratify the CRC.
So there goes your thesis that child bottom-battering instills virtue.
People used to think it was necessary to “spank” adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual assault if a person over the age of 18 is “spanked”, but only if over the age of 18.
There are multitudinous ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won’t list them all here. One can use the resources I’ve posted if they want to learn more.
Craig, Is there a difference between physical discipline and physical abuse by a husband to his wife?
Mothersson2002…That is freakin hilarious!! If you have ever been in a relationship where you needed to be disciplined by your husband, there was seriously something wrong. There is absolutely nothing like “physical Discipline” between a husband and a wife. Having been happily married for many years, I have never and will never “discipline” my wife!
PDeverit, i would love to see the stats that you draw up there. More so, why do you not quote stats from 25-50 years ago when spanking was common practise? And even more so, why on earth can you not see that society is deteriorating? Teenage pregancies, single parent “families” and drugs crime and and and and….Where will you draw the line? When is enough? Unfortunately there has been people that have given “spanking” in Disciplining a very bad name. They have taken their parental authority and abused it. Just like a husband disciplining his wife. These people should in the first instance not be allowed to be husbands or parents. And while we are at it, we might as well describe the correct way to discipline. First off, it is never ever done in anger. If you cannot control yourself, you shouldn’t be taking it out on the kids. Spanking is a very last resort. It’s not the first, it doesn’t get done every day or week or month. And it is always done in a loving family environment. The motive of spanking is not to instill virtue, it’s to teach a child the difference between right and wrong. And more over, to teach them that their actions have consequences. Sometimes, serious consequences. Like in life, where everything you do carries a consequence, good or bad. And at the same time, children should be praised 100 times…1000 times more than being disciplined. However, without having a serious consequence to be naughty or misbehaving, your just teaching children they can do what they like. As in society today. Visible anywhere and everywhere you go. And as a last point, if a method of discplining were to ever reveal itself, which is more effective than a spanking or two a year, I’d gladly convert…
It’s interesting…I was reading another news article which specified that this Calvin College study is one of the first of its kind because they couldn’t find a large enough population who hadn’t been spanked. @PDeverit…while there are actual statistics that signify greater crime rates in the U.S. than many Western countries, saying that nearly all prison mates were spanked as a child is kind of like calling the sky blue. The fact is that most of this country has been spanked one time or another in childhood. If, as you say, spanking is directly linked to increased criminal behavior however, I’m sure our crime rates will soon be in line with many European nations, assuming a decline in spanking continues.
Why one would choose to safeguard the inherited bad habit of child bottom-battering over learning how to DISCIPLINE is a mystery to me, but here is the information you requested on why child bottom-battering/slapping fails to instill virtue, causes negative outcomes, etc:
Spanking Kids Increases Risk of Sexual Problems, University of New Hampshire
Family Research Laboratory and professor of sociology at the University of New Hampshire.
Report on Physical Punishment in the United States
Elizabeth T. Gershoff, PhD / Phoenix Children’s Hospital, March 17, 2009
THE CASE AGAINST CORPORAL PUNISHMENT
OF CHILDREN
Converging Evidence From Social Science Research
and International Human Rights Law and Implications
for U.S. Public Policy
A Violent Education
Corporal Punishment of Children
Center For Effective Discipline:
The relationship of corporal punishment to shooting deaths in schools, violence against teachers, school graduation rates and ACT scores, and adult incarceration
In addition to these, you may visit the websites of the associations I’ve already listed (also the American Psychological Association)and compare them to the violence statistics of each state if you wish.
Since you assert that there is a “right” method of child bottom-slapping and a “wrong” way, perhaps you should create an instructional video of “the right way to do it”
Don’t forget to include such impotant topics as
1)Should you pull your child’s pants down, or keep them on?
2)Do you pin your child over your knees, or do you have them positioned over the back of a chair, over a table,
3)Do you hit them with your hand or a “neutral” object such as a paddle, belt, hairbrush, etc?
4) At what age do you stop “spanking” them? At what age do you begin?
5)Do you hit them until they cry? How does one assess the appropriate number of times/intensity of force one should use.
and then submit your video to:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association
I’m not allowed to list links to websites here, but by “googling” the reports I’ve listed, you should easily come up with them.
The site’s spam filter doesn’t allow me to list these links in conjunction with previous message. Here are the links:
http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2008/feb/lw28spanking.cfm
http://www.phoenixchildrens.com/PDFs/principles_and_practices-of_effective_discipline.pdf
http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=buy.optionToBuy&id=2008-05119-001&CFID=5319710&CFTOKEN=96232893
http://www.crin.org/docs/us0808execsummary.pdf
http://www.stophitting.org
This is one of those “theories” that people come up with. I was spanked as a child and I got horrible grades! I could tell you similar stories! Thanks for the post 🙂
Is these true.? i absolutely disagree spanking a child make her/him a problem someday because they are abused is that what i call for.
No way! How can you say that? I am always against the physical torture and i think spanking is one kind of torture. Yes, it may worked before, but in 21st century we should not think about this way anymore.
What! I don’t support your view about this. Don’t you know spanking is one kind of torture? Now we should look forward and forget our middle aged thoughts.
Torture? Ha, that’s very funny! How the hell is disciplining your child torture? Unfortunately a few idiots have given this a bad name, but it does work and it has always worked. Just look at society now. discipline is down the drain, youth is absolutely out of control and our jails are over run. Yet still we can say the discipline of today works?
Common sense must prevail, otherwise we’ll end up a barbaric out of control society…no wait…we’re already there…
Craig, based on your most recent comment, it is unclear as to whether or not you read/remember previously posted material, so I will re-post:
Child bottom-slapping/battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child bottom-slapping/battering (euphemistically labeled “spanking”,”swatting”,”switching”,”smacking”, “paddling”,or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://nospank.net/pt2010.pdf
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
http://nospank.net/taylor.htm
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
People used to think it was necessary to “spank” adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is “spanked”, but only if over the age of 18.
Exhibit A:
Craig’s language isn’t exactly the most civil.
This just adds credibility to the mounds of research that shows hitting children can delay empathy development, increase aggressive and anti-social behavior, and overall only serves to instill the lesson that “might makes right”.
Pro-hitters consistently seem to have the worst manners, yet their mantram always seems to be “I was ‘spanked’ and I turned out OK”.
I would much rather raise well-mannered, civil members of society with a well-developed sense of empathy, who are respectful to one another.
Well Obviously, there are flaws with this study.
thats not true i dis agree there are many ways to discipline a child like talking is the best example not spanking..
My dad spanked me when i was little. I don’t even remember how many times but it wasn’t that many times. I would fall into line pretty quick with just the tone of his voice and the threat of a spanking. I think if you do it a few times the threat of it makes a kid listen a lot more closely. Definitely was not scared of my dad, I just learned when not to question his authority.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit. thanx for sharing the ideas.
Spanking is one way to discipline your child but after doing it, you should talk to your child sincerely about why he got spanked. Spanking also has limitations that every parents should also consider.
Well, I was never beaten with a belt, or a switch, just my dads hand. The spanking also came with a lecture on what I did wrong, and why I was getting spanked.
This is bull shit! Just spank your damn kid! It has worked for thousands ofyears!
It makes sense if you hit and control kids they might do better at school. School is mostly regurgitation and performance and submission to authority. Too bad doing “better at school” is an incredibly narrow focus that doesn’t really have much to do with the happiness of a child, doesn’t speak to a goal of ending cycles of abuse, and doesn’t have much to do with longterm success and meaning in one’s life.
Here’s a better article regarding spanking, and with better science. I truly hope someone here can benefit from reading it. I definitely did!
Spanking would never be a big reason that teenagers grow up to be successful. I really don’t think so, it’s actually the brought up and the environment but not with how they were spanked during kids.
So i would like to see a study on the coorelation of the parents that don’t spank their children and the social problems inherent in todays children. I bet we would all find striking results that would show that children who have no fear of consequence, i.e. weren’t spanked, tend to think they can do whatever they want whenever they want. How many independant hippy free love children do drugs would also be another great study. Just saying, to each their own, but my kid will be disciplined with a spank if need be to make sure he understands that life has consequences. Oh and by the way, for those who don’t think spanking is ok, heres a test for you, go up to the biggest man you know, tell him your going to whoop his butt, and call him something very inappropriate. I can almost guarentee he will adult discipline you very quickly, and thats why as a parent you should teach your child to be respectful or their could be a violent consequence to their actions. Just saying.
i think ,there’s nothing more effective than a good spanking across the Tush. it was always done. look at todays generation. Its like a free for all. think for yourself , you want to do or say somethig but you will be over the table with your pants down ,getting 3 to 4 good whacks ! wouldnt you think twice ?
Why do the spanking? If you are really eager that your child will do good in school, then you better be more patient, everything can be talked about in a good, understandable way.