Editor’s Note: We are pleased to add Jeremy Dyen to the fathers that contribute to Eco Child’s Play. Jeremy blogs at Stay at Home Papa: “A musician-papa shares his fatherhood, work and family experience. Here you can get attachment parenting ideas, listen to new music and more..”
Prior to our daughter Anjali’s birth, some close friends (who also had a baby on the way) asked us, “So are you using disposable diapers, cloth diapers or going diaper-free?”
We had already made plans to cloth diaper. But what of this diaper-free? Well, who knew how quickly and determinately we could learn and incorporate Elimination Communication (EC), a more appropriate name than diaper-free. Now I cannot imagine taking a different path with our daughter.
In a nutshell, EC is is a practice of using cues, timing, and intuition to facilitate an infant’s need to eliminate. The term was coined by Ingrid Bauer in her book, Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene. Although the idea is to help the infant become diaper free and “potty trained” earlier on than is typical in Western culture, emphasis is put on communication with the infant, and tending to their needs as part of baby-led parenting. You can read a detailed description and steps for getting started in my blog post Elimination Communication For Dummies.
In this post I simply want to list some of the benefits of EC:
- Environmental: If you are the least bit successful with Elimination Communication you will be doing less laundry (if you are using cloth diapers), and thus using less water and other cleaning resources. Disposable diaper users will use less diapers which means less diapers in landfills (although I would advocate against disposable altogether, but that is for another post).
- Save Money: As noted above, you will be doing less laundry with EC, thus saving on water and the energy needed to heat the water, as well as whatever detergent or cleaning solutions you use for cleaning your cloth diapers and cleaning your baby. Disposable diaper users will simply buy less diapers with EC.
- Foster Better Communication Between You and Your Child: This is at the heart of what EC is about. The key word is “communication.” I find that I am so attentive my daughters needs, not just for pottying, but in all aspects of her life. I am very communicative with her, for example by giving her cues to potty. This early communication is no doubt strengthening our bond with our daughter.
- Very Hygienic: With EC, your child will be spending very little time sitting in a soiled diaper. This leads to the next point…
- More Comfortable For Baby/Less Diaper Rash: For one, because you are so attentive to your child’s cues, they will spend very little time in a wet diaper. Either you will have caught the cues and gotten them to the potty in time, or you will have missed the cues, but you will check and change them out of a wet diaper. Furthermore, if you start early you will likely have very few poop accidents. My wife and I have only changed a poopy diaper about 5 times so far, and Anjali is 6 months old. You will have less need for diaper rash creams and treatments, again saving you money.
- Your Baby Will Likely Be “Potty-Trained” Earlier Than Non-EC-ers: Think about this: Non-EC-ers have children eliminate in their diaper for about two years, and then they tell the child to stop. Usually a struggle ensues, and some children are still not fully potty-trained until age 3! With EC, you do not need to un-train your child from eliminating in the diaper. Many babies using EC are “potty-trained” before the age of 2.
- Encourages Your Child’s Independence: We realize that even at an early age (we started successfully using EC by Anjali’s second week!), not only can infants control the muscles involved in elimination, but they can communicate about it. As they become more mobile they will be able get to the potty themselves.
- Helps Parents Tap Into Their Intuition: Many parents using EC speak of a certain intuition that kicks in. Although they are watching and listening for their child’s cues to potty, many often just have a sense that their child has to go. I for one have experienced this, as has my wife. Intuition is a fairly underplayed component of parenting in our society. But I feel it is a very important part of parenting, and I have hopes that more people will tap into it as a great resource.
I strongly advocate EC. And you don’t have to feel like you are obsessing about pottying and diapers. You will find that your attentiveness to your child becomes a normal part of your relationship with them. Furthermore, you don’t have to feel pressured to practice EC all the time. Part-time EC is very much beneficial as well.
I would love to read your comments.
Also, please visit me at www.stayathomepapa.com
What a great post on EC! My daughter just turned 6 months and we part-time EC. We haven’t caught a poop yet because, frankly, she and I seem to be on the EXACT same schedule in that department. I’d love some suggestions on what I can do in that situation. Until she is fully sitting on her own I don’t want to put her on the potty in the bathroom while I’m in there (for safety reasons). But I get aggravated knowing she’s going when I’m going. Any suggestions would be helpful.
Lisa,
Thanks for your feedback. That’s really fascinating that you seem to be on the exact schedule. Is it possible that when you feel like you need to go that you can hold it and tend to your daughter instead? If you are on the same schedule that’s a great cue for you. Just see if you can tend to her first. The more you catch, the more she’ll catch on. I think we were fortunate to start so early with our daughter, but I don’t take it for granted. And I am sure you can be successful starting later.
I agree, I would not suggest sitting her by herself on the potty if she cannot sit up by herself yet. Our daughter can sit up by herself, but even so, to be honest, she has taken a few spills from the potty. Nothing serious…But even with us right there with her it can be a challenge because she is so active and always reaching for everything. Maybe you can hold her over her potty somehow as you are in the bathroom. I do think it is good for her to see you in the bathroom. I hear it will help familiarize her with what’s going on in there. We have started an open-door policy some of the time in our house. A little different, I know. But so is EC I suppose.
If you have any other questions feel free to ask. Definitely check out my Elimination Communication For Dummies post.
Don’t get into it thinking that they will potty-learn earlier! I’ve been catching my older daughter’s poops since she was 6 months old, and here we are, 2 and a quarter, with a baby sister, and she is still in diapers! If left to her own devices she will pee in whatever shes wearing- diaper, underwear, trainers, it doesn’t matter. She is diaper free in the house, but oh how I wish she would just go herself! I do plan to start ECing little sister soon tho, I’m not giving up!
Amy,
As with everything, everyone is different. While it is good to focus on the communication part, and not worry about how soon your child will be “diaper free” or going to the potty themselves, it is possible for children to be using the potty themselves prior to, or by, 2 years old. I can’t say that we have gotten close to that point yet. My daughter isn’t even crawling yet, so I can’t say what will happen when she is mobile and walking. Who knows if she will want to get to a potty by herself. I also know that with each physical development there are plenty of mental developments that create “distractions” from EC or pottying. These are all challenges I plan to keep up with and share with others.
Yes, don’t give up! That’s the best attitude, I agree. Thanks for your comment.
Heya, just two more suggestions for Lisa –
Have you tried putting DD on the toilet with you to poop at the same time? I have only done so with pee (I had to go really bad, but I knew she had to too), but I bet you both could try with poop. When I did it, I sat way back on the toilet, legs apart, facing the correct way, and held DD in front of me with her back as close to me as possible.
Also, another method we like is to use the potty bowl (looks like a plastic top hat). It’s small and portable, so you can practice EC anywhere with it. I mainly use it while nursing. In dire moments, I have been known to nurse while pottying DD and I’m on the toilet at the same time. Perhaps you could give this a try as well — minus the nursing bit?
Nothing like multi-tasking!! 😉 Good luck!
These are all great suggestions on ECing with my daughter. 🙂 Thanks everyone! She’s becoming a better sitter every day and I’ll try pottying her and myself at the same time. Thank you for all of the feedback!
@Cyndi–I was going to say the exact same things! I think my little has come to expect nursing and pottying simultaneously after waking up. Sometimes she cries because she is holding her pee in, it seems, even when I have her on the potty until she is able to nurse. I think it helps her relax. Somehow I got that crossed up in her head. It’s sweet though, little girl.
@Lisa–What a blessing that your cue is so clear! My girl (ECed from 1 mth, I think?), fortunately, dislikes pooping in her diaper. She will do it, if I am not paying attention/being lazy or she is stuck in the car seat. Like I said, the hat potty is a great thing, but my girl is small and even I feel uncomfortable with keeping it in the potty. I have an unconventional suggestion that may frighten people, but I can see it being ok. We got a step stool from IKEA that I keep next to the tub. I can see putting the potty on there (Baby Bjorn little version) on there and holding her with my arms and me on the toilet. I have the blessing of space in the bathroom though. Another idea, which might feel harsh to some, is that if you can hold it and take her enough (say focus on her going first for two, three days or a week) then she might pick up on it enough that you could go and then potty her second because she would know you are going to take her. I haven’t done this intentionally, but there are times where I really have to go and I just can’t wait to potty her and we’re pretty diaper free at times and she has waited for me. I have been peed on though. I am ok with that. I agree with what you will read everywhere about “diaper free” ECing — the more diaper free time you can do the more you learn, which tends to make these easier or at the absolute least worth it. Like I said, my girl’s really not been an explosive pooper or the kind to poop out of the toilet so I don’t worry about her pooping on the floor. I don’t care about her peeing on the floor. (I did remove all rugs though. If you have hardwood/tile *anywhere* find that place or just throw down a sheet or buy a mattress protector and throw that on the floor for an hour or two….while they’re pre-crawling anyway.) You have to know your kid, which you do better than anyone, and the more you watch and talk it up with them the more amazing your bond becomes. You understand more (and make mistakes but learn from them more quickly when paying attention to what you did and didn’t do), and your baby understands more. It also helps to try anything that feels safe and be willing to exchange that method for something else in a day or a week when it stops working. Have fun and be relaxed about it. If you don’t find a solution for a month, have heart–tomorrow could be the day!
@Amy–It was the one thing that caught my attention in this wonderful post. I have, surprisingly easily, kept my mind off any goal of ECing to potty train her early. Even if she isn’t fully potty trained till 4, I know that all I am doing is already worth it. She already went three full days when she was three months old without a wet or poopy diaper. How would that have ever happened if I wasn’t trying?
Ooops! Baby’s awake! Yay EC!
So glad to see such good and insightful comments here.
We try the diaper free thing from time to time. I have had my share of pee to clean up, but never poop. Bare floors are definitely easier to clean. We also have several organic pads with a water proof bottom. Those have served us well, although now that Anjali is near crawling I don’t know how significant they will be, as all 4 of them together only makes up a 6×6′ space.
It’s funny. Sometimes cues are unclear. Sometimes they are clear as day but I am distracted by something else I am doing so I miss them. And sometimes they are clear as day and I miss them because I just blank on the fact that she may have to potty (those misses are ridiculous). It was very helpful to have her diaper free and just observe. You learn a lot (not just about EC) about your child. I used to do this more when she was in the first couple of months. Now my observing ends up as play. The thing is, cues do change, at least for us. So revisiting the “observation” seems important.
I cannot agree more Sheila. I think EC has really strengthened our bond with our daughter. It seems to be about the journey, and not about when you get there.
Oh, and one more thing. Those little plastic hat potties were so convenient earlier on (we use them only every so often now, as Anjali has gotten bigger). It was so easy to just sit that “hat” in between my legs and sit Anjali on top of it to potty. It kept her in close contact with us too. Although my wife didn’t do the tandem nurse and potty thing, I know from plenty of other people that those “hats” are very convenient for that. I can’t remember what company makes those things though. There’s no imprint or label on them. I’ll have to ask my wife where she got them. Do any of you know or remember?
I bought my potty bowl from the EC Store, which is a great place for all things potty. Here’s a link to the potty bowl page:
http://www.theecstore.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=26&products_id=547&zenid=af6e358d2fb6ebf3435dc4683ce17902
btw, I still use mine (mainly at night or early morning when I’m groggy) and DD is 20 lbs. DS never liked it though, so it’s no guarantee that your child may take to it. Well worth a try in any case, IMHO!