HolyMolyToysRUs I’m super dee duper excited that you are now marketing to my child’s eco conscious side.

Cuz, ya know, kids need new stuff all the time.

Sorry folks, I’ll try and regain my composure now. I just wanted to start this post off with an appropriate amount of ridiculousness. I get that Toys R Us is trying to get on the green bandwagon. They’ve sent out a press release that includes this:

Toys”R”Us stores nationwide are now offering customers another way to go “green” with a new line of “R”Us branded reusable bags in a variety of eye-catching styles and colors.

[sic]..an earth-friendly alternative to using plastic shopping bags to carry favorite playthings home and are a great way to teach kids about the importance of reusing. Fashion-conscious guests will also want to purchase the bags as collectibles.

[sic]

The sides of each of the brightly colored bags feature the iconic Toys”R”Us reversed “R” logo and a Recycle symbol. Additionally, the frog, panda and zebra bags each bear a short story for kids to learn more about the featured animal and protecting its habitat.

Uh, did you miss it? I think you might have… “Fashion-conscious guests will also want to purchase the bags as collectibles.”

Do me a favor marketing folks, take a look at my kids. They’re little, indeed, but they aren’t stupid. This generation has grown up selling leftover crap on eBay and they won’t be told that anything is collectible. 401k’s will not be emptied by my children to invest in beanie babies.

So, Toys R Us, nice try. Next time roll it out the way Ikea did. Free bags for a month and then charge a nickel for a plastic bag. While you’re at it, get 98% of the useless packaging off the crap you’re hawking.

I’m classifying this one as eco-junk and a total non event, unless you’d like me to address the fact that you’re trying to fool my kids. But then I’d get really hostile…