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I have been in a relationship with the same person since I was 20-years-old. I am thankful for this.  Of course, it has had its ups and downs, but we have endured.  We have two beautiful children.

Do we really need to celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Recently, two of my good friends have ended marriages and found new “soulmates”. They are both very happy.  They have chosen a different path for their families, a path I am all too familiar with from my youth.  It is not a path I would choose willingly, nor did they lightly, but it seems that turning 40-years-0ld makes some reevaluate their lives.  We want the romance of youth.  But do we really?

In my late teens, I remember dreading Valentine’s Day if I didn’t have a boyfriend.  This holiday made me feel like a loser missing out when my friends were going out with their boys.  I hated Valentine’s Day.  Perhaps, that is why this holiday means little to me now.

I think [amazon_link id=”B002BSHWUU” target=”_blank” ]the Beatles [/amazon_link]sums it up well how I feel about Valentine’s Day at 40:

I’ll buy you a diamond ring my friend
If it makes you feel all right
I’ll get you anything my friend
If it makes you feel all right
Cause I don’t care too much for money
For money can’t buy me love

I don’t want any material possessions from my honey, and I don’t want to feel pressure to do the same because of a holiday.  I think it is more important to spend time together throughout the year, and not just the one day of the year that is supposed to symbolize love and romance.  Mindfulness over matter!

For me, Valentine’s Day is about the kids now.  Some of you may think this horrid.  I think our anniversary is much more significant than Valentine’s Day.  It is personal.

According to Wikipedia:

Saint Valentine (in Latin, Valentinus) is the name of several (14 in all ^[2]) martyredsaints of ancient Rome. The name “Valentine”, derived from valens (worthy, strong, powerful), was popular in Late Antiquity.^[3] Of the Saint Valentine whose feast is on February 14, nothing is known except his name and that he was buried on the Via Flaminia north of Rome on February 14…

May your relationships be worthy, strong, and powerful this Valentine’s Day.  If going all out to show your love with expensive gifts and dinners makes it so, then live it up!

I am happy to be celebrating Valentine’s Day at 40.  Almost 21 years in a relationship, the pressure is gone.  What a relief to feel worthy, strong, and powerful at 40!