If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!
I heard that saying many times before I saw the truth in it.
When a woman is pregnant and her body is working overtime, she’ll love you for taking the time to nurture her. A lot of new dads don’t really understand the changes that are happening to their lover, and it can be hard to remember to take the time to nurture and embrace her. Sure, picking up after yourself helps, but I’m not talking about the house, I’m talking about her.
3 Nurturing Tips for New Dads
- Touch her. Give her a massage, even if it’s only for fifteen minutes. Start with the neck and upper back, spend some time working the hips and back of the pelvis, and end with a foot rub. You don’t need any massage experience for this, just strong hands, willingness, and love. For bonus points, heat a tub of water for a foot bath, add a couple of drops of lavender oil, maybe rose petals if you’ve got them, and let her soak her feet while you massage her neck.
- Make her some pregnancy tea or nursing tea every day. Make it a ritual, a way to connect with that little bean growing inside her. The tea will nurture her body, and the act will nurture your relationship. I always made it for my wife in the evening, and we would share how our days went and sip tea together.
- Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her you love her. Tell her that she’s radiant. You could even try telling her that you like her outfit, but you’re on your own there. Every woman wants to hear her lover tell her that she’s beautiful, and telling her that when she’s pregnant will do wonders for your relationship.
- OK, so there’s really 4 tips. Read the natural parenting and pregnancy and birth books that she’s reading, so you can be in touch with all of the changes that are a part of this miracle. I enjoyed Spiritual Midwifery, and found that I spent more time looking at the reference stuff in the back than the stories in the front. I wanted to know what happened, and how and when it happened during birth. I wanted details. My wife wanted to know experiences and feelings and stories. If you both read them, you’ll have a reference. You will both speak the same language.
I have found that it takes a disciplined effort to remember to do these things regularly, but when I do, it makes for a happy, peaceful house. Put it on your calendar or your to-do list every day and show her that you cherish her.
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Here’s one that no one will tell you. When she sends you out in the middle of the night because she NEEDS a tomato go and get it.
Trust me when I tell you that although the grocery store at midnight is horrible a pregnant woman with an unmet craving is worse.
Good tips.
YES!!!!! I think this is helpful for fathers and mothers at any time in their relationship- simple advice and amazing results. These are the things that mean something to women on a core level of intimacy. Equally, we mama’s could take a lesson here and give what our men find nourishing. Maybe that means some time to themselves, or zipping our lip occasionally and allowing Dad energy some room in the house, watching and nurturing what gives them joy and reaching out to touch or embrace without expectations.
Great Advice Derek.
Man o man you are going to be popular with the mamas! I wonder how many times this post is going to be sent to the menfolk… 🙂
At one point for us, it was those natural “hot pocket” things from Wild Oats, and I had the cooler layout in my head, and a time of 15 minutes door to door.
Yes, go and get her whatever she needs. Whenever she needs it. You’ll be a champion, a hero.